I wasn’t prepared for the reaction to my public coming out of having an incurable blood cancer. It has been surprisingly positive and encouraging, with people following my lead of ‘no sad faces’ .
Of course I think my overall attitude and demeanour towards this horrible health problem has helped shape the conversation. People have come out of the woodwork in surprising turns of selflessness to offer assistance.
I’m nearly a month into treatment, and have my fourth injection of drugs this week. So far, I have been feeling reasonably okay, with most side effects manageable at this point. I’m just getting on with my life as normally as possible, continuing to eat, breathe, gym, walk, cycle, eat more, shoot zombies on my PlayStation, see friends.
Oh my goodness, how normal does that sound? Right?
But the one thing which makes me tired, fatigued over and cranky is answering the same question time and time again.
I really am fine and I’m just getting on with it.
No, really, I am fine. I am happy most days, I am not a weakling in need of hand holding. But I am your friend. I need human contact. One thing I am not is an exhibition for rubbernecking and gore assertion.
What do I mean by that? Well society dictates a ‘cancer patient’ must look and act a certain way, they should be all hashtag #fuckcancer and alkaline juice sipping bandanna wearing sickly looking people with the reaper standing just to their side. Sorry, that just doesn’t happen in every case anymore! I’m very much aware that I am lucky to be so healthy and very much aware that people can look sick and be sick. I get that.
***NEWSFLASH, READ THESE TIPS!***
- I will not fulfil your preconceived view of how I am supposed to be or act to make you feel comforted or assured.
- STOP asking how I am every day, it shits me to tears having to explain that I am fine
- if I am not feeling great, be prepared to act on it, call me or come see me. Don’t go all quiet on me
- Rubbernecking me like a car crash, stop it. Now.
- Again, FOLLOW MY LEAD.
So so from now on, if you message or call me and I refer you to this post, don’t take it personally. Understand why I am tired of answering the same question time and time again. Don’t get shitty because I’m dismissive, I’m dismissive because I’m busy trying not to die.
Up next on The Healthy Wog…
“The Death Touch, and appropriate ways to be normal around someone with cancer.”